i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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