Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
