giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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