Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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