You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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