Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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