I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
