My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
