he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
