...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
