bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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