Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
