hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
