yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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