Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
