Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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