I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
