I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
