So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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