she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
