Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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