Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
