Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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