If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
