its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
