I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
