I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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