Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
