On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize