Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
