every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
