I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I am naked and annoyed.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize