You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
