i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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