Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
