Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
