I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize