I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
