Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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