I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
