No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
