I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
