i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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