I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
