kristin has been a bad kristin
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
