fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
