Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
