I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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