also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Drunk is a universal language darling
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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