Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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