i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
