Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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