He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
