I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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