he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
